On one hand, I’ve met some incredible people, been to the most beautiful city in the world (Venice), made some lovely friendships, travelled up and down the country for various events and started this lovely little blog which has brought me so many opportunities (I feel like I’m accepting an Oscar)
On the other hand, the second part of my 2012 was pretty sh!tty. It’s been a difficult few months. ( When I say difficult I actually mean its been f!cking sh!t.) I haven’t wanted to fire my personal life all over Twitter, and people who who I talk to often know what my situation has been but for the past 3 months I’ve been dealing with the breakdown of a 6 year relationship. I’ve moved out of our home and been living with family and then moved into a house of my own for the first time and have been tasked with learning to love the whole “living alone” way of life.
Yes it’s been difficult, and horrible and messy, but through it I’ve learnt so many life lessons. I’ve learnt which people I can depend on (and which people I can’t), become more confident and self dependent, trust my instincts and I’ve had to learn not to take things too seriously.
To everyone else this may seem like an horrendously cliche-y quote, but it very much rang true to me at a time when I needed it most.
What I’ve taken out of 2012 is that you do only get one life, it isn’t a dress rehearsal. Life is a learning curve and I’ve had to re evaluate the things that I want in life. I came to a point in my life where I decided that who I was wasn’t the person that I wanted to be. I see it in the lives and relationships of friends, I see it on Facebook and Twitter timelines, where people stay in situations they’re not happy in purely because they think it will get better. Do you want to be 50 years of age looking back on your life and regretting not making changes that you know you should have and thinking about the things you may have missed out on, things you never got to experience and wish you could change your past? I didn’t want to be that person and be full of regrets.
(And thats not to be detremental to my past, at the end of the day its a part of my past because at one point it was exactly what I wanted.)
I am determined to be happy – happy in this life and be the best version of me that I can be.
Moving forward I want to keep all this in mind and take 2013 by the balls.