When your calender ticks over to the beginning of a new month an old wives tale tells us to utter the words “white rabbit” to avoid bad luck. At the beginning of February the words “Valentine’s Day” > “White Rabbit” and bad luck is instilled in the singletons amongst us.
Obviously, if you’re already smitten with your kitten (it rhymed so I’m sticking with it) February the 14th will have no adverse affects on you, mainly because your Valentine’s Day will either be the standard romantic meal for two or a “we don’t bother with Valentines, we love/hate eachother all year round” situation. For the first few years of my “adult life” I was a part of that situation for going on 6 years and therefore I didn’t really “get” the absolute blinding terror Valentines day can instill in a single pringle (again, it rhymed).
For me at least, being single on Valentines throws up a mixed bag of emotions (I feel like I should insert pictures of me doing the standard actor poses for each emotion) and I very much swing from one extreme to another.
Terror: “what if I get chased through the streets by smug in love couples chanting SINGLE SINGLE SINGLE at me because I’ve been caught buying a meal for one from the Co Op”
Hopefulness: “Maybe such and such will send me a card/ask me to do something on Valentines day”
Independence: “Valentines Day, Schmalentines Day. I’m going to go out with the girls/stay in and watch the most anti romantic film ever”
Aggressiveness: “It’s a bullsh!t day anyway where people who most of the year are cheating on their partners can buy them some flowers and it’s all okay!”
Sadness: “nobody loves me, I’m so alone and ugly and no one will ever love me and I’ll never spend Valentines with another human being ever again because I’m unloveable”
The reality of Valentines Day is strikingly similiar to my post about whether being single any other time of the year is good or bad. Despite knowing that Valentine’s Day is a ridiculously commercialised day pounced on by greeting card manufacturers to try and guilt money out of the general public and feed on the expectation which “romance” films instill in us, I (and many others) still fall hook line and sinker for the lead up to *whispers* the 14th. Perhaps my valentines non date experience of last year where my Valentines interest insisted I book the 14th and 15th off work so we could do something special… and then he never showed is somewhat to blame for my MEH attitude towards the date. Warning signs should have indicated that the day wouldn’t have been plain sailing, but I was too swept up in the romance of it all that I let my heart over rule my head and as such ended up spending Valentine’s hibernating at home watching The Green Mile with my tail between after gushing to anyone who’d listen that I had a Valentines date. Probably for the best considering my close to fear/loathing of dates which I mentioned in this post, although there’s now an app to help generate the perfect date based on you inputting certain factors. I’ll be putting that one to good use. Hopefully.
The bloggosphere is a particularly harrowing place to be when you’re single at valentines. Last year when my blog was still relatively a baby, I wrote a couple of Valentine’s posts celebrating my newly single status and despite a bit of a “wah” plummet on the day itself, Valentines Day was FINE (I spent it watch The Green Mile – the LEAST romantic film I could think of). This year I’m a little more “on the PR radar” (that isn’t bragging, it’s stating a fact) and my little inbox has been filling with Valentines themed emails since December. “As the countdown to Valentines Day begins…” the PR assistant writes in a too optimistic voice and offers of Valentines inspired perfume, gift sets, flirty heart print dress and sexy lingerie to pair with a “romantic” scented candle to burn during the crucial moments. Opening each email has prompted an in ear Jaws theme “Valentines Day in 2 weeks…1 week…2 days”.
It’s now the 13th February and it’s less than 24 hours till the clock strikes LOVE.
What will you be doing? Who will you be with? Are you expecting a card? Are you sending a card? Are you going into hibernation?
I haven’t had the heart to admit to myself (or PRs) that despite the hopeless romantic in me which hopes for some The Notebook style romantic gesture where I’m sweeped off my feet, come tomorrow I’ll probably be wearing “that” Valentine’s satin and lace balconette bra and brief set accessorised with my trusted fleecy dressing gown and watching back to back episodes of Dawsons Creek in bed with a bag of Minstrels (and Skittles). I’ll have one ear listening for the door just incase someone just so happens to turn up unannounced to do the aforementioned sweeping of ones feet, or maybe it will just be the Chinese take away delivery guy? Close enough if not better.
“The cups on this bra are extremely useful, at one point Jack kissed Joey when Joey was still in relationship with Dawson and I missed my mouth when attempting to eat the 7 billionth Minstrel and the bra cup caught it. Unfortunately I was that caught up in the drama that I forgot about it and said Minstrel is now slightly mushy and fused between my breast and the bra itself” I write as others bloggers gush over bouquets of flowers, Tiffany blue boxes and slip into something from Victoria’s Secret.
After some back and forth deliberating, as of 3:13pm on the 13th February I’ve decided I’m adopting my usual Charl mocking/sarcastic/independent single ginger female attitude to deflect any sad feelings about the whole “I don’t have a Valentine’s” scenario after reading my “Reasons Why It’s Better to Be Single on Valentine’s” post from last year.
Of course, by 11:59pm I’ll probably be listening to a playlist of the weepies saved for the most dire of moments.
How are you spending Valentines day?