Do you ever lay in bed at night and find yourself unable to slip into a peaceful sleep because your overactive mind just won’t stop running overtime? Most evenings, right at the point when I should be dozing into a deep lavender infused slumber and dreaming about a world where I work as Jason Momoa’s professional nipple tweaker and taps dispense gin and tonic, I find myself counting the 9 billionth sheep and toss and turning in my bed that I end up tangled in my duvet.
With my 30th birthday looming in less than 9 months time, I find these sleepless nights or panic stricken moments occurring much more frequently. The problem is that I don’t feel like I’m nearly 30. In my head I’m still little over 21 (a girl can dream, right?) and so in my head I have an abundance of time to tick things of a list of dos.
There are just so many things I had hoped I would have ticked off my life “to do” list before the age of 30. For example: I haven’t had a number one selling single, I haven’t managed to find the answer World Peace, I haven’t won an Oscar OR a Grammy, NOR have I found out who the f*ck Alice is or if this really is the way to Amarillo.
With the impending “big three oh” on the horizon and being constantly inundated with school friends life milestones: wedding photographs, baby scans, births & subsequent toilet habits of their new child, I feel like I’m back in the career advisers office being asked what I want to do with my life when I’m an adult. & there it is, I’n an adult now.
There is no “get married”, “find my one true love”, “have a brood of children” on my bucket list. I’m of the belief that those are the things that will happen in due course, if ever and aren’t things that can be forced. My “fuck it” list are the things I wanted to have done by the age of 30 and better get my ass in gear to do so. I want to look back on life when I’m old and frail whilst sat in my reclining chair with fat grandchildren at my feet and say “I did that”. A bucket list if you will, except I don’t plan to kick the bucket anytime soon.
I wanted to put the list into black and white once onto paper (because there’s nothing that gives me a written word-gasm more than the handwritten word) and then again here. There is 9 months between now and my 30th birthday, so I’ve planned to challenge myself with “things before 30”. The sort of things that I’ve always wanted to do but never have. Be it financial reasons or because I’ve always put them off because I’m happier sitting in my comfort zone and saying “I’ll get round to it”.
I’m going to be sharing these with you over the coming months so be sure to check back and let me know what’s on your “fuck it!” list…