Feeling Rudderless and Oarless

Do you ever remember the moment a quote or passage from a book really resonates with you? That time when you take in the written word and think “that could have been written just for me”. I do. The book was One Day by David Nicholls.

At the time of reading it, I was at a time in my life where I was going through something and needed to make certain changes to be happy.  Everyone else around me could see it but I was oblivious.



I was feeling unfilled in a relationship, in a job that made me feeling like it was sucking the life from me and I wanted more from my life and more control of my future.  I feel as though over a period of time I began to make certain changes at during that period time, I was reading this book.  As each chapter unfolded and I followed the journeys of the characters I began to notice certain similarities in my own life.  You know how you can make a more because you’re on the outside?  It was like that.

There was one quote in the book that really “spoke to me” and I remember it to this day:

“You feel a little bit lost right now about what to do with your life, a bit rudderless and oarless and aimless but that’s okay… That’s alright because we’re all meant to be like that at twenty-four.”

At 24 years and 261 days I felt relieved. Relieved that it was okay that despite feeling rudderless, oarless and aimless, at 24 years old (almost 25) it was there in black and white that it was okay for me not to know where the hell I was going or how I was getting there. It was okay for me to start over.

It’s been almost 5 years since I read that quote. I’m no longer 24 (the amount of face creams I have designed specifically slow down the ageing process will attest to that) and my life has taken a 360 degree turn in regards to career and relationships but I still have those days where that rudderless and aimless feeling creeps in.

…it’s taken me until now to realise that that is okay.

It doesn’t matter what your age: feeling rudderless, oar less and aimless is a part of life and it will happen now and then. We often focus so much on everything being just so and reaching this point of Utopia that we miss what happens in between because we’re too busy panicking that everything isn’t perfect.

Imperfection is alright because we’re all meant to be that way, no matter what our age.