Exactly one month ago today it was Valentines Day.  Some of us were hoping for a handwritten card and a toy teddy bear from our crush, some of us were going out for lovely candlelit meals with our beloved and the rest, well they were sat in bed eating Chinese food and watching Saving Private Ryan (can you guess which one I was?). 

“I like my steak rare and my blow jobs well done – don’t get the two mixed up!” – said all the men on Twitter on S&BJ Day

Steak and Blow job Day is hailed as being the “Valentines Day for men”.  Its apparently the womans day to give back for the 14th of February when she was being showered with gifts, flowers, dinner and general romance.  She cooks the steak, gives the BJ and then gets showered with something else return (if you know what I mean).  Sure, some women are known to like a bit of the ole romance that Valentines Day brings, but then again, others would rather be sick into a heart patterned sick bag than even acknowledge the day.  Steak and Blow job day?  That tramples all over chocolates and a flimsy bit of card with some scrawled greeting inside.

The easy thing to say is “IT’S A MADE UP DAY, IF YOU WANT STEAK, GET SOME AND IF YOU WANT A BLOW JOB THEN GO OUT AND GIVE ONE”. 

I’m happy to stand up and say “f*ck the cuddly toys, I’ll have a day made up of my favourite food item and something that brings me excitement/pleasure/a climatic outcome.  Thanks!”

Then it got me think, what day could we actually have? 

Chinese and Cunnilingus Day

Cheese and Handbags Day

Chocolate and New Shoes Day

Chicken and 3 Hours of Kissing Day

Pizza and Naked (*insert name of your favourite hottie celeb crush here*) Day

Finger, Lickin and KFC Chicken Day

Oatcake and Oral Day (one for the Stokies)

Sushi and An Interrupted Session With Netflix Day

Lemon Cheesecake and Lipstick Day

They all sound pretty good to me, but to be honest, I’m quite happy with Steak and Blow job day….providing of course once I’d done “the deed” I’d get to enjoy a nice rare slab of fillet steak and a glass of red wine.

However you intend to spend it, enjoy.