At the turn of last year, holidays abroad had either been spent with family or my boyfriend of the time so travelling with friends wasn’t an issue I’d had to face.  I know that makes me sound like I’ve changed my boyfriend more times than I’ve changed my knickers, but I have in fact only been on holiday with two boyfriends.  I skipped the gals week long of boozing, burning my boobs and making a whole loada mistakes in Maga and went straight into holding hands around city breaks and fortnights spent in Greece over indulging in feta cheese.

Towards the end of my 30’s, due to a new job and moving in new social circles, I found myself developing a little hub of close friends who not only the same urge as me to hop on a plane and get away but also a disposable income and YOLO attitude.  We no longer talked of “imagine if we” or “wouldn’t it be cool if” scenarios.  If we both wanted to, we had the money in the bank (at least for the flights) and the annual leave available to do so, we’d book it.  Whether that’s an evening at a spa, a weekend away in the UK or a spur of the booking for a trip to New York.

Travelling with friends adds an extra dimension to a trip than travelling with a partner or family and can mean that you get out of it a totally different kind of holiday.  I revisited Venice recently with a friend for the first time and it meant I was able to experience and enjoy the city in a whole other way than previously.

Thankfully I’ve had no major holiday bust ups or experiences where I’ve thought “I won’t be doing that again in a hurry”.  Instead, I’ve simply come away with lessons learned that I’ve put to use in the following trip that have worked to my advantage (a lot of time its learning to let go and chill the eff out).

However, with a fifth “grown up gals” holiday booked to return to New York in December and a trip to Prague planned in September, I wanted to share everything I’ve learned about how to survive travelling with friends and how to make a trip as easy and argument-free as possible…

Culture or cocktails?

Working out what everyone wants out of the holiday is number one on your agenda and is the most important thing to discuss before you make any concrete plans or put any serious money down.  Just because you all want to go to a certain destination doesn’t mean you’re all looking for the same thing out of it.  You may have ideas to do beaches and ruins, or nightlife and culture but if you’re thinking 90% beaches and 10% culture and they’re thinking the opposite, you’re going to be pretty peed off come that first day.

Wanting different things from a holiday doesn’t necessarily mean you need to avoid booking a trip away together, compromise and communication is key.  Lay your cards on the table and try to figure out a way where everyone comes out of the holiday having done what they wanted to.  If you can’t do everything (you most likely won’t be able to) see if you can identify activities that can be done solo.  Can your mate wanna walk up the acropolis whilst you top up your tan and finish off your book by the pool or can she pop out first thing in the morning whilst you’re getting some beauty sleep?

Be prepared to compromise.

As with any kind of relationship, there are going to have to be compromises on all sides and there’ll be a few things to consider that you may not have even thought of when deciding to book a lil haul over Friday night drinks.

Some people may have less budget to play with, one may be a little more pickier about how fancy your accommodation is, another may be a picky eater and one may not able to spend as much time on their feet walking around as you can.  People, eh?  It’s these little quirks that will pop up mainly in the planning stages and will be easier iron out in terms of compromising on where you stay/how pricey a trip you’re planning to have.  Some on the other hand may not crop up until you’re off the plane on the other end.  The biggest bit of advice I can give is to try and go with the flow and compromise as much as you can as there’s bound to be something you’re bringing to the table that the rest of your group/your friend is having to compromise over (like you may sound like a tractor when you’re sleeping, whoops).   If there are quirks that you absolutely can’t get on board with, keep your cool and try to see out the rest of the holiday without losing your cool.  Then it’s on your to take those quirks onboard for IF you plan on a next time with that particular person.  You don’t want to ruin their or your holiday, after all.

Get planning.

If you’re travelling to somewhere for only a few days and you have a whole load of activities you want to fit in a small space of time, then plan ahead.  Trust me.  There’s nothing worse than doing the “I don’t know, what do you want to do” is frustrating enough when you’re deciding on where to go for tea with your partner, but trying decide the plans of an entire holiday whilst in location is wasting valuable time and money.  Don’t be afraid to be super organised (luckily, this is usually me) and put together a plan or itinerary of where you want to visit, feasibility and cost so you all each get out of the holiday what you intended to.  That way, nobody flies home disappointed or thinking “I just wish I’d managed to do XYZ”.

Take some time out.

Don’t be afraid to have some “you” time at the beginning or end of the day to ensure you’re properly able to unwind or recharge.  Whether you’re an early riser who heads out for coffee and a walk, you take a long soak in the tub or shower at the end of the day, plug into your laptop and watch a TV show with your headphones or even spend some quiet time with your nose in a book or answering emails.  That little bit of quiet time means you have your own space (especially if you’re sharing a room) and will hopefully mean that you quite frankly, don’t get sick of the sight of one another.  If you need to take half an hour to sit in the bathroom in silence, do it.

This rounds on who?

“Money, money, money, the-reason-most-people-fall-out-in-this-world-what-a-bloody-shame” sang Abba, kind of.  Money is one of the most difficult topics to approach and you’ll always have those that are more free flowing with the cash than others. When you’re travelling on a set budget and you’re nipping into your pockets on the regular, who’s paying for what can become highlighted. Doing rounds of drinks may feel unfair if you’re on the soft drinks and having to pay for public transport when you’re happier on foot may feel like money gone to waste, but the last thing you want to start busting up over is dollars (or euros).  Discuss in advance how you’re going to pay your way to ensure that neither of you are having to pay for more than the other limiting any feelings of resentment.  Perhaps settle on a budget for the day and each pay a set amount into the pot to cover food, drinks, transport, museum/bar entry that is split equally and then set aside your own spends for shopping or any other extravagancies that catch your eye.