Confidence wobbles. Hands up if you’ve ever had one. I have, in fact, I’m not ashamed to admit that I go through confidence wobbles every now and then.
I work with brands, both clothing and beauty that are passionate about encouraging women of all shapes and sizes to feel beautiful and confident in the skin that they’re in, but it’s worth remembering that even the most confident of women struggle with body image.
Plus size models, musicians, reality stars, bloggers, vloggers. The people that the industry look to to be the face of plus size all have days where their relationship with maybe not just their body but their appearance as whole may need a little TLC. That’s not to mean that they’re selling out or that that they’re no longer practising what they preach, it means that they’re only human and that no matter how body positive they are, some days they ultimately just feel like shit.
Because of the working relationships I have with brands like Yours Clothing and of course, being a plus size woman with a love of shopping, I do sometimes feel a certain amount of pressure to love what I see every single day, because I’m out there demonstrating that self body love and encouraging others to do the same. To love every inch, every curve, every soft squishy bit of flesh, dimple and mark of my body that it’s taken me so long to own, that is so much more than just a clothing label or a number on the scales. Even though the majority of the time I find myself fighting unwanted opinions of others on how my body looks, there are times when it comes under scrutiny from myself.
Those are the days I chalk down to a confidence wobble.
Confidence is an inside job, so on those days when the small things that don’t usually bother me like kangaroo bouncing around the room to wiggle into a pair of jeans following an over indulgent weekend or quickly deleting those not quite so fierce outtakes, those are the times when I need to check myself and how polar opposite my appreciation is for my friends in comparison of what I’m projecting onto myself. And a lot of those times those projections come from a place deeper than just what I see in the mirror.
Externalising frustrations, often those that we can’t control whether it be brought on by a relationship issues, having the manager from hell or just one of those “where on earth is my mojo” moments feel like they can only be righted by the issues that we do have some kind of control over. Sometimes the default mechanism to losing control of an area of our life that we hold the reigns to is to focus on what we can change and what can be changed the easiest? You guessed it, what we see in the mirror.
After beating myself up for beating myself up, I learned that as long as those wobbles about how much my butt jiggles or how my thighs touch is just that, then that’s okay.
Truth is, I’ll always have a bit of a wobble (both mentally and physically) but embracing it in those moments and how I deal with it is what matters.