This will be the first Valentines in 6 years that I will be spending alone. This fills me partly with a mixture of fear and excitement. Mainly because part of me knows that I’ll most likely become one of those women who burst into a massive spiel about how “Valentines is load of commercial drivel which the cards/confectionery companies think up to con hard earned money out of gullible people by making them feel as though they have to make some declaration of love”… yet still secretly hoping that a red enveloped card or two will drop through my letterbox on the morning of the 14th of February.
As noted previously, I love a bit of romance – I don’t think there is enough romance in the world – so to me, Valentine’s Day could potentially be the best day EVER or the biggest let down ever. Either way, I wanted to start off my “Valentines Series” (my first blog series, GET ME!) with a bit of a cheeky post…
10 Reasons Why It’s Better To Be Single On Valentines Day…
1. You don’t have to defuzz. Lets face it, as much as that “skin like silk” feeling is like no other – it isn’t half a chore. If I had the money/opportunity, I would easily go all out for some laser hair removal sessions and become queen of smooth (bar my hair and eyebrows, obviously)
2. Faking a headache isn’t an option. On Valentines Day, its one of those two days where him actually getting his leg over is a god given right (the other day is his birthday)
3. No awkward present buying. Who REALLY wants to spend money on a teddy clutching a heart with “I <3 YOU” stitched onto it thats just going to end up tucked in the back of a drawer on the 15th? Not I, I’d rather buy a lipstick.
4. None of that queuing up in Clinton’s with hoards of other frantic eyed people last minute people who are clutching their carrier bags of teddy bears/Thorntons chocolates/single red roses and searching for an appropriate card – do you go for the “Me to You” slushy long versed card you can stick your name on the end of and a kiss, or do play it cute with a “TO MY HORNY FELLA” card? Decisions decisions.
5. Talking of cards, what do you write in a Valentines card? Long gone are the days of “Will You Be My Valentine?” and in its place are William Shakespeare style sonnet expectations. BALL ACHE.
6. You don’t have to pretend you actually like your partner.
7. It gives the postman the go ahead to deliver your bags and bags full of cards that wouldn’t normally make it through to you when you’re in a Valentines day.
8. Being able to eat as many Thornton’s heart shaped chocolates as you want without worrying about how your fats going to look later on as you try to look seductive by candlelight in your sexy underwear.
9. The world is your Valentine Oyster. When you’rein Tesco and you meet some hot guys eye as you both reach for the last Sweet & Sour Meal For One… BOOM there’s your Valentine’s meet cute* & hello, instant Valentine. (nice work Cupid)
10. …. you get to spend the night with most gorgeous, witty, talented and ultimately fabulous person in the world (no, not David Beckham) … yourself.
* A meet-cute is a situation in which a future romantic couple meets for the first time in a way that is considered adorable, entertaining, or amusing.