I’ve had quite a frustrating man week. On one hand, I’ve been in the worst “men are lame” week of my entire life. You know when anything thats wrong you somehow pin it on a man? “For gods sake, my milk is off. It was obviously a man who packed my Tesco online shopping and he gave me one with a rubbish expiry date because hes an IDIOT”.
But on the same foot I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a man as much as I have this week. & it isn’t even about sex (although some of that would be nice), it’s just about a man in general. Sometimes its the manly things about a man that I miss most when single, the things that when you’re in a relationship you take for granted.
I feel like sometimes I come across like I’m a big man hater and that I sit at home like a bitter singleton making voodoo dolls of men I’ve been scorned by and listening to Kelis “I Hate You So Much Right Now”. I’m not. I have my fair share of male attention and I also develop alot of crushes on fairly unobtainable men, which is why I’m usually moaning about men in one capacity or another.
But this week has been a busy one. I’ve been tired, I’ve had girl flu and what I’ve wanted most nights is a man shaped something in my bed to curl up next to, to straw feed me Lucozade, Ibruprofen and buy me crap magazines from the shop… & then get out of my bed in the middle of the night so I can make star shapes and appreciate how much bed space you get when you’re single. I’ve wanted breakfast in bed, kisses on the nose and forehead, trips out in the sun to the park and heck, I’ve even wanted to cook for a man.
Sometimes you just crave that feeling of a man on top of you (I wouldn’t even mind being fully dressed), that man weight and that man smell (something between sweat and aftershave) and someone to verbally play ping pong with, some back and forth banter and even mundane man stuff such as having to pretend to be bored while he watches the football but you’re secretly perving on AVB.
Alas, the only man on my radar is Ted but luckily he’s amazing at cuddles.