I broach this touchy subject tentatively – all opinions are my own, if you disagree then you disagree. Opinions are like bumholes, everyone has one :)

I’d be what you’d describe as a “plus sized” girl – I don’t advertise it, but its not something I try to hide (good job that!)

I’m starting to see this growing trend at the minute for what I want to call “embrace your fat” – Beth Ditto has come out with wanting to design an affordable clothing range for bigger girls and boys, the “Fatshionista” in their bikinis, the plus size bloggers… their seems to be an influx of plus size.

As a curvy girl I feel like I sit somewhere on the fence with the whole fat embracing debate. One part of me is like, YES – looks at these girls with their curves and their gorgeous faces looking so beautiful and owning who they are as a person and not taking the bullshit that society labels “fat” people with so freely. FAT does not equal bad, or horrible or have an exact correlation with somebodies personality. I love it when people don’t let peoples views or preconceptions define who they are as a person.

It’s taken me years to accept myself and embrace the fact that I’m not skinny. I used to hate myself for this, being surrounded my skinny friends constantly and always being aware that I was bigger than everybody else, I used to be bullied, name calling at school, bitchy comments from girls I’d work with… even people think in the street think it’s okay to pass judgement. It took up until only a few years ago to learn to block out everybody elses opinions and accept my body shape for what it is. I used to have no “style” – when I say this I don’t mean that I’m now some stylish mofo, what I mean is that I had no ida what clothing shapes flattered my shape or what colours suited me, I would purposely wear jeans and a jumper usually in black and try to camoflauge what was underneath, which I now know only emphasises weight.

Its all about that moment when you can finally look in the mirror and you don’t hate what you say, you accept who you are. Whether you’re overweight, underweight, you’re tall or short, you wear glasses, you have ginger hair (!!) learning to not see these things as bad is the hardest challenge of all. That is what I love, that these “fatshionistas” aren’t hiding in their bedrooms and taking listening to what the bullies say or hiding themselves under the “fat uniform” of black camouflage- they’re out there saying “I’m beautiful, whats your problem?”. I applaud the fact that there is more focus on plus size fashion and catering to a market that is definitely a niche, I know from experience how difficult it can be to find fashionable and affordable clothing that fits. It can be utterly soul destroying to find a dress that you love but the shop doesnt cater for your size… I’ve had many a shopping trip where I’ve just given up and cursed my stupid body all the way home. But then I weigh up this positive with a negative…is it good that nowadays more and more shops are having to cater for an ever growing market?

Is all of this purely glamourising what is basically an unhealthy lifestyle choice? Because when taken to the extreme that’s what it is. MY lifestyle choice is an unhealthy lifestyle choice, I am well aware of this and am under no illusion that its not, but I’m not going to be going out and saying “gain weight, get fat, being plus size is amazing.” Part of me wants to say – be you, as long as you’re happy then do what you want.

But when does this “fat embracing” become too much? Fatty feeders? People who want to gain weight to be more attractive? This whole “real women have curves” bullshit (lies, real women have either a) boobs, b) a vagina or c) both). It all makes my head swim with “is this right? Should this be allowed?” Yes it’s their body and they can do what they want. One thing that makes my mind boggle is these websites where men (or women?) pay to watch people eat food on webcam… would people agree or tolerate a website where you pay a drug addict to snort coke or inject themselves with heroin? I think not. I know its not on the same level or to the same extreme but this is ultimately the same thing… a 20 stone woman eating 15 cream cakes and 7 tubes of Pringles in one sitting is RIDICULOUSLY unhealthy but because its food, it’s not as frowned upon as drugs or alcohol. Pro anorexia websites are closed down, so how can this be deemed acceptable?

I for one am not this size because I want to be plus size… I didn’t purposely go out and gain weight so I could be a certain size of jeans or have lumps and bumps in certain places or have a big ass and say “I’M A REAL WOMAN LOOK AT MY THIGHS”, would I like to lose weight and be healthy, of course I would. Slowly and surely I’m doing something about this, but in the same breath, do I apologise to anyone for the way that I look, or feel ashamed of my weight? HECK NO. My weight is my concern and if it concerns you then you need to get a hobby that doesn’t involve judging me by the size of my jeans. Do I deserve to be judged by the size of my jeans? I don’t think so no, size ain’t nothing but a number and what should count is me as a person, if I murder people and beat up old people then feel free to get your judge on, but because I have a few extra layers of fat than you? Bitch, please.

So here I sit, still on the fence with splinters in my fat ass. I love what it all stands for, loving yourself for you regardless of waist size – go girl! But be healthy.

Fat doesn’t equal glamour in the same way that scarily thin models don’t.