Dear Prince Charming
You’re far too preened and perfect for my liking, so this isn’t gonna work. I know some girls may like that whole “Ken Doll” thing you have going on, but in the words of the most annoying X Factor person in the entire world, Alexandra Burke, the bad boys are always catching my eye. Well, for the forseeable future anyway.
Lots of love,
Unwritten rules of dating say that we always want what we can’t have, and that girls always want a bad boy. Whether they break our heart or leave us with our head on our pillow, waiting for our phone to ring, theres something about a bad boy that gets our endorphines and libido racing. Lets embrace that want, but lets make said bad boys aware of “the rules” and what girls want… (or what I want, as this is my blog. If you want different let me know)
1, Be honest with us. First and foremost with a bad boy is that we need to know that you’re a bad boy. At least if you’re upfront with the “Hello, I’m a complete c*nt” then we aren’t going to be disillusioned when you show a glimmer of being *shock* nice and assume some Hollywood movie type romance will blossom and it will turn into a fairytale happily ever after. Lets stick a label on this and go with it. We can handle and actually welcome the truth about how much of a c*nt you really are, it saves alot of messing about and time wasting which could be better spent elsewhere… (usually the bedroom)
2, Lose the clean cut image. The daily close shave, slick hair, suit trousers and shirt which are pressed to perfect, perfectly polished shoes? Meh. Give me 3 day old stubble, bed hair you can imagine tugging your fingers through and some battered trainers, the other way makes me feel like I don’t want to man handle you incase I wrinkle you.
3, Play hard to get. Don’t be texting us back straight away, liking our Facebook pictures or ringing us all the time. Sometimes a girl likes to have to “WERK IT”. Half the fun of the chase is the thrill you get from it. If we see you’ve read and are replying to our text as soon as we’ve sent it, we’re going to assume that nobody else wants you or is after your attention. But at the same time…
4, …Don’t ignore us. Playing hard to get is one thing but, theres a fine line between that and ignoring us completely is another thing. Believe it or not, we know the difference. Treat us too mean and we’re going to turn our textual (and sexual) towards someone who does eventually text back.
5, Flirt with other girls. I get jealous (HI IM CHARL AND IM A JEALOUSAHOLIC) & if I know a guy I like is talking to another girl/s (plural) the green eyes of jealousy in me shine bright like a diamond. Jealousy can be a bad thing, it can ultimately ruin relationships but in this situation it does one thing: it makes you “werk”. Another girls attention on a guy I like just pushes me to badder, hotter, funnier and makes me wanna blow those other girls out of the water. I’m sorry, what was her name again?
6, Be confident. Bad boys are usually deserving of their title because they have that extra shot of confidence (and slight arrogance) that other guys don’t have. That confidence is what draws a girls attention and keeps us hooked – but this is not to be confused with arrogrance. An arrogant man does not make us weak at the knees.
*Censored, adult content warning, this bits rude etc*
Women love that animalistic look in a bad boys eyes. Some men just exude that “I’m thinking about having sex with you” right now look about them – and it can be pretty damn hot. The likes of Colin Pharrell, John Mayer, the usual suspects, they all have that something that throws the “I’ll Make Love to You” Boyz2Men song out of the window in favour of Nine Inch Nails “Closer” & Bruno Mars “Gorilla” – purrrr.