So, Rihanna…

When she was the new girl on the block and queen of Pon de Replay I adored Rihanna, I even adored her when she cranked it up, embraced womanhood and started releasing songs like Rude Boy and Disturbia. She proved that not only is she a bad ass mudda, she has a set of lungs to match and her stage performances ooze confidence. And then she met Chris Brown.

chrisbrownandrihanna

A celebrities personal life is exactly that, a personal life and it’s nobody elses business who they choose to love/spend their life with… or is it? Every single degree of a celebrities life becomes public domain and to an extent they know this when they sign up for that lifestyle. When images of a bruised and beaten Rihanna leaked onto the internet after a violent bust up with R’n’B star Chris Brown, publications worldwide called for her to kick his butt to the curb. Granted, there was a period of seperation between the pair but little over a year later photographs and of Rihanna and Brown hanging out/meeting up started to circulate.

Domestic violence happens, we all know this and we all probably know someone who has experienced it or is still experiencing it, you may have experienced it yourself – and it ain’t pretty. I know, and you probably know that domestic violence is something that should absolutely not be tolerated, I’m a big believer in the fact that a leopard never changes its spots. Domestic abuse can be physical or mental, but the physical side can start out small and can quickly snowball – as with the photo that leaked of Rihanna’s beaten and bruised face after her altercation with Brown.

There are hundreds of women and men (take Coronation Street for example) who stay in abusive relationships because there’s no way out or because it’s easier to just stay – alot of people stay in abusive relationships because they think their partner will change. For your average person on the street, this is more common than we think but when it comes to somebody in the media its not so straight forward.

But here comes that word again… “celebrity” and the belief that because someone is in the public eye, part of your life/soul belongs to the public domain. I get that this isn’t realistic when it comes to some things and that everybody deserves a private life. But with Rihanna, as a celebrity and as a woman with alot of influence over a generation, I feel she has a moral obligation towards her fans who regard her as a role model and an inspiration. What pisses me off with Rihanna is that she openly glamourises that whole lifestyle. With the media interest of her relationship with Brown, where everyone knows that the guy beat 50 shades of sh!t out of her, perhaps rekindling the romance would be best done in private and adopting a bit of a “tail between legs” stance. Instead, she constantly posts provocative pictures of them on Instagram, lying in bed and smoking marijuana and it makes me shake with anger. I imagine being the parent of a teenage daughter with no life or love experience and knowing that Rihanna is her “idol” – I’m not completely knocking Rihanna. Her success is amazing and as a business woman and with the brand she has created for herself I say “Hi5 biiiiitch!” but the whole Brown situation screams of Bobby and Whitney to me.

  • Someone in work today told me an interesting story about RiRi. This girl was in a club and got chatting to C.Brown in the VIP section. Rihanna came over and was furious, she stomped on the girls foot “by accident” (broke two of her toes) and said “get away from my man”. She also has that song Breaking Dishes where she talks about fighting men, so I think she probably gives as good as she gets, but really not a good role model for younger girls who only see the one side and think it’s acceptable for a man to treat them that way! x

    • Charlotte

      This doesn’t surprise me at all! x

  • I totally agree with you on this. I have made some pretty (massively) stupid relationship mistakes myself in the past, and I put up with bad situations for longer than I should have. I can sympathise with her wanting to repair the situation and help him to change (if that’s what she wants) but I do think she is irresponsible. I used to try and hide how my ex treated me because I knew it was wrong. I also knew it was wrong to hide it, but I knew that if I told my friends about it before I had decided to leave, that would be excusing his behaviour. I couldn’t bear the idea of anyone else being in my situation and me not being able to press a zero tolerance policy with them. I wish I had told someone and that they had forced a zero tolerance policy with me. I knew all along that if it happens once, it will happen again, but I didn’t have the strength to leave. In hindsight, someone encouraging me would have helped. Rihanna has to consider if she could tell another woman not to tolerate abuse. Could she be the one who saves their life by convincing them to leave? I do feel sorry for what he did to her, but she has chosen to go back and her overtly flippant attitude towards his abusive behaviour and the concern others are showing about it is almost as bad as his being abusive.

    • Charlotte

      Oh Jess, thank you so much for this comment and being so honest. I know we spoke a little bit about it on Twitter and I think that it’s important for women/men who have been in this situation need to learn from their experience and set a good example for other people who are going through it. Being overtly flippant is just showing people that “it’s okay” to accept this kind of behaviour. Getting out and learning is hard so its sad to see her go back because it’ll probably end in tears x

  • Elle

    Completely agree with this, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one! I know it’s just a song, but I also disagree with her doing “Love the way you lie” parts 1 and 2 – the whole song to me glamourises domestic violence after she was such a public victim!
    She’s an incredible talent, but I fear she’s heading down a destructive path!
    Elle xx

    • Charlotte

      Exactly this. She’s super talented and her songs are incredible but I completely agree with the comment about Love the Way You Lie – and the video for We Found Love… its like PLEASE wake up and see how destructive this is to you/your fans x

  • Tiara

    I also agree with you on this. I was once in a abusive relationship and it NEVER gets better. I think she is sending the wrong message to young girls…She’s basically saying that IT IS OKAY to get back with someone that BEATS you…… WHICH IS NOT OKAY AT ALL! We all saw the picture of her face. THAT IS UNFORGIVABLE on all levels. People never change….. Hopefully she will come to her senses before she regrets it again.

  • Couldn’t agree more. I said the very same thing yesterday – if she wanted to get back with CB she could’ve done it in private, rather than telling millions of fans it’s ok to let a man beat the shit out of you.

  • Pingback: BEAUTY || Kelly & Sharon Osbourne for MAC - Ginger Girl Says | Lifestyle, Beauty & Fashion Blog()

  • Pingback: GINGER GIRL SAYS | UK Lifestyle Blog (with a dollop of sass)()