I think that during the creation of “Charl” when I was in line for looks/personality/ability to talk absolute b0llocks, I must have got confused somewhat and stood in the latter line twice, because it appears that I ended up with a double dose of sentimentality and brain vomit.
I’ve been known to send the occasional email/text which in short could be taken straight from a Dawons Creek script, a completely over emotionalised and strung out declaration of love/heartbreak/reminiscing – whatevs.
I sent a mammoth of a message this morning to a friend who’s currently going through a horrendous breakup and I kind of wish that somebody had said these things to me when I’d been going through the same kind of thing. I think as human beings we’re all able to give out advice that we ourselves should listen to. This also remind me a little of something I may have written in a ye olde “A Letter to my 16 Year Old Self”.
“Men generally get screwed over by girls because they tend to go after the girls who guys wish they were with, the types who love themselves way more than they will ever love another person. And then they act surprised that they get sh!t on. Men and women are very much the same, we always want what isn’t “good for us” leaving the good girls and the good guys on the self. When you’ve been hurt and had our hearts toyed with its so easy to shut yourself off and be burned by a bad experience and feel that “you gotta act like a d!ck and an arrogant sh!t” to not get messed around by girls, but thats a) not true and b) not a healthy way to be. You can’t let the person that you’ve been with or who’s hurt you define YOU as a person, they’re not worth that and if you let them then ultimately they’ve won. I know you loved her, and yeah you may have “been young” but what does age have to do with anything? At the end of the day it doesnt matter how young or old you are, when it boils down to it love is love, and you are the only one who knows how you felt then and how you feel now – who are other people to tell you what love is or to tell you that what you felt wasnt real? She was your first love, and that first real love, the one that makes your head spin and makes you feel like you can do anything, “Real love, ridiculous, consuming, can’t-live-without-eachother” love is utterly absorbing and I won’t sugar coat it… you might never get over her. Part of you will might always love her and you might always splinter into a thousand pieces when you see he. Thats just a testament to how you felt about her. You can’t try and block out being heartbroken, f!cking hell it sucks – you need to embrace it rather than run from it, running from it is just like trying to fix a gunshot wound with a plaster. It does get easier though. Look around, and almost every single person has gone through what you’re going through now and gotten through it. What you need to remember tho is that that breathlessness feeling you get when you see that person, or the fact that your knees buckle everytime you hear a song that reminds you of them, this all just points back to the fact that you can’t be that d!ckhead that shes made you feel like you WANT to be, because basically – you my friend are better than that and you’re better than her. So much better. Go and listen to some Adele or something and cry like a b!tch. It’ll help – trust me.”