Normalising Domestic Violence Is Not Okay

Earlier this year 2 time dad and once upon a time TOWIE “star” (I use that term loosely) Dan Osborne was fired from the ITV2 show after recordings of him threatening to stab and kill his ex girlfriend and mother to his first child were released to the British press amidst further allegations of domestic violence after Megan was heard to exclaim “get off me!” during another recording, although there is no proof that Dan actually laid his hands on Megan.

‘I swear on this boy’s life I will end your f****** life if you sh*g another man. Never in your f****** life are you going to be with another man. I can swear on my son’s life.’

‘Shut your f****** mouth you f****** c***. If you go near another man I promise you I will stab you in the f****** throat.’

Not exactly a thing of great love stories you’ll agree, but this was the content of the messages believed to have been recorded and released by Dan’s ex partner Megan, content which Gemma Collins, reality star and fashion designer (again, loosely) has defended stating that Dan should not have been fired from his day job. Reason being? Because apparently he’s a lovely guy and also because it’s a normal thing to say to your girlfriend in Essex.

“Death threats? Yeah, that’s Essex boys for you. I’ve had boyfriends say to me if I ever leave them they will kill me. In Essex it’s a normal thing.”

“He was never going to kill her and I think he deserves to make a comeback to the show.”

…. & thus making the entire clued up and savvy female population seriously question dateability of guys in Essex. Don’t worry though guys, Gemma and her low sense of self worth will have you, just ring her up and tell her you’ll stab her in the f*cking throat if she doesn’t go on a date with you because y’know what that means coming from “guys from Essex”? They love you. Sweet really isn’t it.

So lets give him his job back ITV2 because he’s a lovely guy and affairs of the heart make you say some crazy things…. or maybe that’s just what you get when you date abusive scum.

To justify this kind of behaviour as normal is scary, especially coming from a woman who was herself subject to domestic violence at the hands of her ex boyfriend just before she flew to Australia to appear in I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. Collins ended up leaving the show only a few days in and cited the altercation that happened before flying out as a contributing factor to her early exit. Based on her opinion on the Dan Osbourne situation, surely this only happened because her boyfriend loved her – it is Essex after all.

I’m not particularly sure which young women would look up to Gemma as a role model (#sorrynotsorry) her yo-yo dieting and conflicting opinions relating to plus size women and diets have completely alienated me as someone who would respect her opinion, but those young and influential girls who are dillusional enough to take heed of what comes out of her mouth are surely being subject to a normalisation of domestic violence?

In my eyes Gemma joins the allegience of Rihanna in an epidemic of making domestic violence an accepted part of a modern relationship.

Should we not be setting examples to the current and future generations that violence within any relationship is not okay and is not acceptable.  Should we support the groups who campaign tirelessly for more awareness for victims of domestic violence, both men and women rather than open ourselves up to the risk that a 19 year old impressionable girl (from Essex, obv) will flick through the pages of her latest copy of Heat Magazine, reads Gemma Collin’s misinformed and ignorant comments, return to the abusive arms of a partner who threatens and physically hurts her “because he loves her” (*cough* bullsh!t *cough*) and ends up being another statistic in a report on deaths caused at the hands of their partners due to domestic violence.

  • Rachel Charlton-Dailey

    This is disgusting, I’m sick of seeing violence normalised as “he’s a nice guy” yeah thats why it happens behind closed doors. I seriously just want all of towie to go away. Thank you for writing this, great post

  • I can’t even get my head around the stupidity of this she really needs to think before she speaks

    • Charl

      Or have someone filter everything she says :X

  • I didn’t even know about this. It feels like Collins just comes out with crap all the time though (if you’ve seen the show, her remarks aren’t surprising). She seems to have a lot of issues she needs to sort through, but unfortunately, her position on the show allows her to voice them publicly and influence people. I hate that these sort of comments give the green light in abusers heads “well, GC from TOWIE knows we’re all normal, so why can’t you think like her?” sort of thing, or victims might take longer to leave abusive relationships because people like GC are telling them it’s normal.

    Sigh. Just sigh.

    Ornella || euhnella

    • Charl

      I come to the point where I actually wonder whether she means what she says or whether she has taken tips from the Katie Hopkins book of marketing and decided to make ludicrous comments about sensitive subjects to bag 15 minutes of fame!

  • ramblingmads

    Having worked with victims of domestic abuse, there is nothing normal. Women are more likely to be murdered, and are every day, by their partner, than a stranger.
    I have heard teenage girls say being smacked around is normal, I have had adult women blame themselves for years of abuse, we need to be teaching the younger generation (male and female) that is not even remotely normal or acceptable.