Nothing quite beats an hour long telephone conversation or a good whinge with your best friend about your love life. I once read that when women talk about their problems to men that men automatically assume that a woman wants them to sort out that problem. With your friends its very much the same. We seek advice from our peers because more often than not we’re awful at taking our own advice.
Have you ever heard the saying “practise what you preach”? I’m ashamedly not one of these people. I’ll hold my hands up and say that when it comes to relationship advice I’m a giver and not a receiver.
I’ll be honest in that I often find myself in men related situations that should it be someone else asking for my advice on the particular subject I’d slap them round the face, kick em in th teeth, strap a pair of chastity pants onto them and forbid them from speaking to a member of the opposite (or same) sex ever again. It’s in these situations that I wonder why I can’t apply the same kind of good advice which I give out to friends to my own love life.
One of my main frustrations when it comes my friends men woes is when a guy doesn’t reciprocate her feelings (or he does but he goes about showing it in the most ridiculous way that you’d be forgiven for thinking that the guy in question actually hates her with a fiery vengeance). I’ve seen my friends make massive fools out of themselves, be walked all over, be kicked when they’re down and be crying themselves to sleep over a Toni Braxton Greatest Hits album all because of silly men and their inability to just be honest about situation. This angers me. The fact that some guy can’t see how amazing my friend is and continue to treat her as an inconvenience or string her along because he isn’t quite sure of his own feelings for her, well that makes me want to tie that guy to a wild bull by their penis and wave a red flag around.
I don’t like to sugar coat my advice, I’d say that in some cases I’m brutally honest basically because I don’t see the point in giving out false hope and deluding a friend anymore than they already have been (I say this in the hopes that they would do the same thing for me). Advice which reads along the lines of “he probably DOES like you but the reason he couldn’t see you tonight or reply to your messages is because he’s really crazily busy….Oh, he’s been on Facebook all day AND he’s liked 4 photos of that girl who you think he fancies AND he’s been on Twitter saying he’s bored and wish he had something to do tonight? Erm. Well, maybe he does like you and hes playing hard to get OR he’s scared of falling for you?” well, that sort of advice is worse than the films that lead girls to believe that Happy Ever After does exist. Therefore: honesty is always the best policy (men and women alike, take note).
In that situation the actual advice I’d most probably be giving would be “look, I know you like him, and I know he says he ‘likes’ you…but if he’s making excuses not to see you when he’s obviously not doing anything of not and he’s making the effort to speak to other girls whilst he ignores you, then its probable that you’re just an option to him as opposed to someone who he really likes. Don’t you think you deserve better from a guy than him using you for the moments when seeing you is a slightly better option than doing nothing?” whilst pouring her a glass of wine and ensuring whoever she lives with clears her bedroom of any sad music/sharp implements.
Because ultimately what every girl deserves is a guy to make her one of his priorites as opposed to a “sort of” option. A girl will obviously never compete with his beloved football club or his nights out with his friends but you’d think that just maybe he’d want to see her/spend time with her/speak to her. The beginning of any relationship is MEANT to be a mini honeymoon period (but without the wedding) so if a guy is showing signs of being married for 20 years and he can’t be bothered to even talk to you let alone go on dates then it’s probably a good indication that he’s not the one for you.
Maybe this is the sort of advice we should give ourselves. Or maybe you should give yourself the advice that you’d give your best friend and you’ll soon realise just how much time has been wasted on something or someone not worth your time and how many excuses you’ve made for someone who gives you the run around.