Cheating: To Forgive or To Forget?

I’ve always been a fan of Katie Price, by “fan” I don’t mean that I bought her annual calendars or would buy the vast collection of products that “Pricey” has put her name to but instead mean that as a woman in business I’ve always sort of admired her. In the same way that the likes of Kim Kardashian and other reality show “stars” have risen to fame, Katie amassed a fortune from living out her private life in the public domain. Through numerous glossy magazine features showcasing her marriages and welcome additions to her ever growing family and lucrative “merchandise” deals including a perfume, clothing, equestrian, lingerie and bedding lines she brought home the bacon…all whilst playing mum to an adorable brood. In the UK she’s as Marmite an individual as you can get, some people love her and on the other side spectrum people seem to loathe her.

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When the news broke (rather dramatically) from Katie’s personal Twitter account about her 3rd husband, Kieran Hyler of having an affair with two of her friends I found myself, along with those in the UK who love her (and probably a few of those who loathe her) feeling sorry for Katie. Newly married to Kieran with a young baby between them and another bundle of joy on the way, you couldn’t help but empathise with a woman who’s life seemed to have been turned on its head.

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Branding both Jane and Chrissy wh*res and sl*ts, Katie has ripped into the women who have admitted to sleeping with their so called friends husband. & quite rightly to a degree.

But what about Kieran?

After being treated for sex addiction, Price has announced her decision to stand by her man following the birth of the couples second baby.

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I have a friend who’s boyfriend strayed away. He would spend evenings on his phone texting other girls (who were also her friends) and admitted to sleeping with them when he was drunk, but of course, She forgave him. She threw a 100 good reasons to justify his behaviour: “They were going through a rough patch”. “It didn’t mean anything to him”. H”e was really sorry”. “She was just there and I felt really lonely”.

The girls he hooked up with? Not so much in the forgiving stakes. It didn’t matter that it didn’t mean anything to them either or that they felt lonely. They were branded whores and sluts, publically shamed on Facebook and thrown out of the social circle. There was an out and out witch hunt and like I said before, rightly so. Married or taken men are off the menu, ESPECIALLY if it’s a friends husband or boyfriend. Hoes before bros and all that.

But why the double standards?

Why do the women get villified and the man gets the benefit of the doubt. Like Christina sang about in “Can’t Hold Us Down” – “the girl can do the same and yet you call her whore”.  Only a few days ago former 3LW and Cheetah Girls Adrienne Bailon star publicly blasted former boyfriend Rob Kardashian for cheating on her during their 2 year romance at the beginning of KUWTK and addresses how she was called out by fans of the show for not forgiving him and taking him back. “She won’t stop slamming Rob” are the headlines and as much as I love the Kardashian’s, the guy cheated on her. Why should she forgive him, take him back or talk about him positively?  He cheated on her.

With Cheryl Cole taking back the (multiple) cheating Ashley back (back in’t day), Coleen forgiving Wayne’s infidelities, recent rumblings amid the WAG community of unfaithful partners and now rumours of Jay Z allegedly doing the dirty on Queen Bey, it’s as though we’re being surrounded by all these empowered “no bullsh*t” women who give the impression that infidelity is okay and to forgive is the way forward. Obviously, we’re all grown ups here and to forgive is an act of discretion but it makes me curious as to the “normal girls” take on cheating and forgiveness.

Are you a “forgive and forget” kind of gal or do you follow the Lauren Conrad classic one liner “I wanna forgive you and I wanna forget you”?

  • I just don’t think people change. If they cheat once, they’ll do it again. I don’t think it’s the single person’s fault tbh. If they’re not the one in the relationship, they shouldn’t be the one who’s branded a whore! I know all situations are different, but I’d be a lot happier to be treated with the respect and honesty I deserve. Sex is sex, after all. It’s the lying part which would annoy me more.

  • Martin

    As Mrs Green said in FRIENDS, “Once a cheater always a cheater”

    Have not cheated, have been cheated on. It’s pretty shitty

  • There are of course exceptions but I think in general, you’re either the cheating type or your not and the minute you let someone back in after that you are setting the president for the rest of your relationship. Personally I find it really hard to believe that someone could really love you if they can disrespect you in such a colossal way and they definitely will continue to not respect you if you don’t even have the respect for yourself to know you deserve more.

    It’s a funny one because it is always the girls that are to blame, but although it’s totally wrong a random girl who doesn’t know you, owes nothing to you. Your cheating boyfriend on the other hand owes it to you to keep it in his pants. Obviously when it’s a friend it’s different and they should both be kicked to the curb but I find it really odd. Especially because often it’s the cheater thats told lies to the ‘cheatee’ to get them to do that to their friend in the first place.

    Hit the nail on the head once again girly! xxx

    http://www.somethinglikenicola.co.uk

  • Kate M

    Ooooooh this is a tricky one. I would always maintain that they’d get dumped never to be seen again, and I have done this with exes of mine. But when it’s the father of your child and someone you truly love its difficult. Sometimes I think cheating on your partner sometimes makes you realise how much you want them and it is a genuine mistake. Xx

  • For me, cheating is non-forgivable. I just wouldn’t ever be able to get past it although I understand that sometimes, if there are children involved, people like to try and work through it. However, I’m a cold-hearted cow and once a person hurts me, I cut them out without a seconds thought.

    It’s a toughie though… always going to cause a big debate.

  • How come whenever a male ‘celebrity’ (I use the term loosely here) is caught out cheating suddenly they’re a sex addict? That’s rather convenient isn’t it?! ‘I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it, I’m addicted to it. I had to stick it into all of your friends’

    • Charl

      Exactly! I hate to question it because some people actually do suffer from that sort of addiction, but to immediately cry “sex addiction” and like you say, stick it in her closest friends is like a get out of jail free card!

  • I completely agree. In my opinion, if my boyfriend cheated on me, it wouldn’t be the girl’s fault. She doesn’t care about me. She literally owes me nothing so it’s no skin off her nose to go and sleep with him. But my boyfriend would have a responsibility to say no. Even if it was just another kiss I’d never take him back. Cheating is cheating.

    hellomissjordan.blogspot.co.uk xx