LIFE || Tag: Don’t Hate, Appreciate

I felt as though after a few conversations I’ve seen on Twitter recently that today was an appropriate day to write this blog post. In fact, I’ve actually rescheduled a blog post that I think is pretty awesome and very of the now in order to put this post up.

A while ago I started to do some posts called “Motivational Monday” which a) I haven’t done for a while and b) were inspired by Louise from Sprinkle of Glitter – because I think shes amazeballs (see, “inpired” and a compliment, that is putting me in good stead for this post).  I wanted to do a sort of “Motivational Monday” post but on a Wednesday… “Werk It Wednesday” (?)

Basically, I’m sick of blogger dramz.

To me, when I got into blogging it was a way to share a passion. I like makeup, clothes, fashion, music (men) and I like to write – so that was something I wanted to do first and foremost – write about what I loved.  What came along with that was friendship.

I’ve built a lot of friendships through blogging, whether its people I speak to purely online or people I’ve met “in real life” at blogger meet ups and I can tell from the blogs and Twitter feeds of other bloggers that it isn’t just me who feels that way.  We all embrace the fact that we have found like minded people with whom we can share a common interest and on that build a friendship. Blogging can at times can be pretty lonely. Its you, a laptop, a camera,  and some makeup, a pair of shoes & a story to tell (and a cat and  cuppa if you’re a REAL blogger), so to find people who support you or inspire you or just someone to bounce ideas of is amazing.

Some of the best days I’ve had this year  have been days where I’ve had the opportunity to meet bloggers and talk and be inspired, to pat eachother on the back and tell each other how fricking one another are. Have you ever seen a room full of 20/30 strong, creative and beautiful women? I have. Its inspiring.

& then on the other side of the coin….

Blogging can be like being in a schoolyard.

bloggersburnbook

Beauty/fashion blogging is predominantly quite a young audience/genre – its like 19-23years old writing, maybe younger… & I’m 26.  Sometimes I feel like I’m one of those 30 year old models who’s past their sell by dates but I also feel as though maybe, I don’t know if its because I have life experience behind me or responsibilities as a grown up (I get excited over things like washing detergent being on sale and pattern microfibre cloths) but – Charl ain’t got time for dat blogger drama.

Whether its people on everyone’s favourite bitchathon site, Guru-fucking-Gossip or people making digs and snide remarks on Twitter – I just don’t see the point in it. We’re all supposed to be here to do the same thing. Buy make up, buy shoes, write about something we love. To read other peoples blogs, to comment, to interact, to be inspired. That’s what I thought this was all about.  Sure, you’re not going to like everyone.  You may not like someones blog style or how they do their make up or how they dress, or they may have a funny accent or stupid eyebrows or they might not use very good grammar – but whats the need for the bitchiness?

I’m 26. I did primary school, I did high school and have been left 10 years now, so I did the revolving door of friendships splitting up because of idle gossip and cattiness. I didn’t care much for it then and after growing up, I don’t care much for it now.

Blogging happens on the internet. We all have lives outside of the internet and this blogging world. We have families, friends, jobs, boyfriends.. things that are meant to fill our lives with positivity and this bloggersphere which is usually so lovely is meant to be the icing on the cake or a cherry or a dollop of ice cream on the side.  If your days work consists of sitting on Guru Gossip writing and reading negativity or sitting on Twitter waiting to jump on somebody then you need to close the laptop and go in run in a field a la Julie Andrews in Sound of Music.

thespicegirlsnot

What happened to Girl Power?  The Spice Girls didn’t don massive platforms, Union Jack dresses, pinch Prince Charles’ bum, live up to those silly character names and repeatedly scream “zigazigah” (which nobody knows to this day what it means) so that bloggers in 2013 could slag each other off at every given opportunity because “she wears the wrong colour foundation” or “she has too many giveaways” or “she blurs the bags under her eyes” or “she over exaggerates her page views”. Lets all be WOMEN and grow up.

Negativity breeds negativity, so lets all do like they do on the discovery channel and breed some god damn positivity.

I have a tag. I like to call it the “Don’t Hate, Appreciate” tag.

I want you to tag 3 bloggers/blogs who inspire you. They can inspire you because you like their make up or they always dress nice or they make you laugh or you want to get drunk with them – I don’t care. They don’t have to be your best bloggy buddy, they don’t even have to know that you exist, they can be the Fleur de Forces or Tanya Burr or Jane from down the street who’s just signed up to Blogger and writes about what her cat does all day – as long as that blogger inspires you.

When you’ve written your post, tag them and then let them know on Twitter that you tagged them – tell them you love them, tell them they rock your world and you want to take them out for a Pumpkin Spiced Latte at Starbucks – lets get some positivity up in this blogger-sphere.

Comment below if you do it so I can read who inspires me or tell me on Twitter (or don’t, I’m not doing this for popularity or hits or anything else) – I hope it highlights what a lovely little community we actually are.

I’ll be tagging my 3 inspirations later today.

  • Brilliant post. I’m a bit older than you and trust me, I haven’t got time for negativity either, This is supposed to be FUN and I love supporting other bloggers.

  • Love this post – like you, I have found that blogging has changed dramatically over the past two years and isn’t the same as it used to be. The good thing about it is that it’s a place for women (young or otherwise) to have strong opinions and views and a passion they can share with others that might not be possible in *real life*. However, sometimes all these strong views can spill over into something that doesn’t – or didn’t – represent beauty blogging as a whole. It’s easy to be brave behind your laptop screen! I’ve recently made my first appearance on GG – and what surprised me most is the level of expectation of bloggers. Never in a million years would people march up to someone at a party and say, “okay, here’s what I don’t like about you and here’s what I think you are doing wrong, oh, and while I’m at it, here’s some gratuitous insults about your general level of competence in the entire world.” On the other hand, I did take some learnings from it – sometimes a ‘home truth’ is no bad thing to improve. I think we just have to isolate ourselves from negativity and keep believing that what we are doing is worthwhile.

  • I’ve got a full 2 weeks worth of blog posts, easily, but I will be taking up your tag and doing this. As a 31 year old blogger I started writing about fitness and diet but it has grown to food, drink and beauty as well. I’ve seen so much backlash from people saying that doesn’t make me a ‘beauty blogger’ as if I shouldn’t be ‘allowed’ to write about beauty because it isn’t my main focus. And you know what? They are right with the former, I’m not a beauty blogger… I’m a BLOGGER full stop. I write what I want to write about in the hope that, at some point, someone finds it useful.
    It’s so sad that some people seem to think that being negative and causing arguments/gossip is acceptable when we are all in the same boat. I love meeting other bloggers and have made some great ‘real life’ friends from it as well as some lovely ‘online’ friends. I will continue to do this and adopt britishbeautyblogger’s style… try to isolate from the negativity and just keep believing that you are making a difference. I love your blog and, even though I have never met you, you would still be in my inspirational top 3 :)

    Keeley
    http://www.phatcupcake.com

  • Lauren T

    I have a confession. I’m 20 years old and I also get excited by household cleaning items being on sale…

    I hate negativity, I was a victim of bullying during school, and my beloved cheerleading practices turned pretty negative last year too.

    When I started my blog I was hoping to find a support network amongst other bloggers, which I am slowly building, and luckily I haven’t been the aim for anyones nasty comments yet (that I know of) but I steer clear of places such as GG since although nasty words can be forgiven, they can’t always be forgotten and I don’t want to change to fit what someone else wants of me. My blog is only very young so I anticipate as it grows it may attract more attention but I intend to rise above it.

    I will be taking part in this tag :)

    Lauren
    http://princessofpretty.blogspot.co.uk/

    xxx

  • You took the words right out of my mouth! I’ve seen so much drama recently and I don’t get it. We are meant to be a community! I’ll post my tag later on, even though I’m not a beauty blogger :)

  • Nicola

    Hooray for this post! Thankfully I’ve not yet been a victim of blogger bitchiness (not that I know of anyway?!) but I see others that are and it breaks my heart. I’ve always thought the blogging community to be one full of support, friendship and kindness but some people insist on ruining it by poisoning it with competitiveness, spitefulness and bitching. At the end of the day this is a hobby for most people – a job for some – and there just really is no need.

  • I’m 23 and don’t have time for the negativity, it’s stupid and pointless and just plain bitchy. Nice post, needs to be said :D

    Claudia xx

    Beauty and the Chic

  • YES YES YES.

  • I love this post! It’s so well written and unbelievably true. I think it’s so sad when you see people slagging off a blogger because they dare to have any kind of imperfection xx

    D Is For…

  • absolutely loved this post! could not agree more. it was only recently i actually came across blogger gossip websites, and couldn’t actually believe they existed..
    i’ve just posted this tag over at my blog and really enjoyed doing it.

    spread the love guyssss..
    catt xxx

    http://cattface.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/dont-hate-appreciate-tag.html

  • I’m 27 and I feel the same as you, I haven’t got time for any of the drama I see on twitter and gg, think it’s so sad when it’s blogger hate towards other bloggers too, we should all be supporting each other. I think this expectation of bloggers to be perfect is ridiculous,the whole reason blogs became so popular is because people were sick of reading edited and often bias fashion/beauty magazines! Bloggers aren’t perfect which is what makes reading blogs so much more interesting and relatable! I’ll definitely be doing the tag and good for you for posting this! Charlotte xx