LOVE || His Question Was Forever? & Her Answer Was, I Do.

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In little over two weeks I will be participating in the wedding of one of my best friends in the world.  We’ve been friends for over 10 years, and because of this, she’s tied to my teenage years and interwoven throughout my adulthood. At her wedding, I have been given the honour of being asked to be one of two bridesmaids on the day – a role of which I’m extremely excited to take on.  We’ve already done the dress fitting, the make up run through (I will be chief makeup artist on the day), the bridesmaid dress, the shoes and the very messy but very fun hen night – all that is left to do now is the wedding.

The impending day has gotten me thinking about weddings and my thoughts on the whole concept of a wedding/marriage.  I think sometimes people get mixed up in what’s important when it comes to a big day, and may find it difficult to distinguish between a wedding and a marriage.  The wedding is the day where you share your love and your union with your closest friends and/or family, the marriage is what is left when all of the flowers, the big dress, the cake and mongrammed table cloths are taken away. 

I’ve been witness to a couple of weddings which have been absolutely beautiful, tear jerkingly so.  Weddings where the bride had not one hair out of place, the groom looked dashing, the Pimms was flowing freely and everybody had a jolly good time in a country house – the marriage ended in less than a year.  Following that trend, we all also know the story of Ms Kardashian, who wed basketball star Kris Humphries in the most lavish wedding of all time.  Not a dollar was spared when Kim walked up the celeb studded wedding… and not a dollar was spared when Kim infamously filed for divorce a mere 72 days after the wedding.

The wedding was beautiful, the marriage not so much.

…which is why I’m always a little skeptical of weddings on a whole.  I’m not sure whether I don’t have that wedding gene like most girls because my parents were never married, I’m not sure if it psychologically runs that deep.   But what I do love is seeing people in love.   I love seeing those who marry purely for love and stay together until they’re old.  But this isn’t always the case and I see more and more instances where weddings are used in a band aid fixes all sort of deal, and this saddens me.  What puts on a front or “brings people together” more than a wedding? (or makes you hate your significant other more for their absolute lack of organisational skills and awful taste in potential “first dance” songs)

Which is why I love that the skeptical in me has been washed away by the wedding ahead of me.  Even the skeptic in me isn’t blind to the way my friends eyes dance when she gushes about her husband to be.  The (secret) old romantic in me swoons when the groom hangs on my friends every word, and the look of adoration and pride at the hen do from the mother of the bride shook something in me that made me think…

This is a marriage I’ll be witness to, not a wedding.
& I can’t wait to be a part of their big day.

  • I could not agree more. When we got married I was so overwhelmed by all the stupid little details about the wedding that I handed most of the responsibility over to my mum. I did not give a shit whether the table cloths were the same shade of blue as the bridesmaid dresses, I cared about marrying my lovely, silly man. Getting married felt like the most normal thing in the world.
    People get so obsessed with one day and how every small detail has to be perfect but truthfully if you’re having that wedding for the right reason you don’t notice anything except the person standing infront of you. And then later on how many of your friends and family remember the entire dance to S Club 7’s Reach.
    Have a wonderful day as a bridesmaid! xx

  • I work in a cake shop and it is unbelievable the amount of brides that walk through the door and want everything to be perfect; the colour ribbon has to match the flowers and the flowers have to be exactly as their real flowers and I think they forget about why they are actually getting married! They are more concerned that everything ‘looks’ perfect and sometimes I just want to say to them ‘Nobody will care whether your chair covers match your cake ribbon on the big day!’

    I hope you have a lovely day as bridesmaid! x

  • Amy

    I’m so excited for this. You’re All going to look beautiful!!! Hayley is finally getting her Mr Big! Hope you’ve got the tissues at the ready lovely, we’re going to need them! Xxx

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