Did you see my post about my 3 week dabble in the psychotic world that is “spinning”? Spinning: where you sit on a bike which penetrates your back side with a lycra clad man sitting at the front of a disco lighted room screaming at you to “peddle faster” “this is YOUR race not the persons next you. Well… I stopped going. I enjoyed it, but ultimately, it just wasn’t for me. My bum was far too sore from having a seat rammed up it for 45 minutes, and the fact that I couldn’t giggle without being shot “PEDDLE FAT GIRL, PEDDLE” looks put me off….So I joined the gym.
Let me give you a bit of background into my sudden desire to join a gym/get fit.
My best friend is getting married. She very kindly asked me if I would do her the honour of being her bridesmaid. She asked for our dress sizes when buying the bridesmaid dresses as she’d seen a style she fell in love with, unfortunately, these dresses are very, very small sizes. I held the dress she bought me in my usual size up and gulped, and look down at my body, and gulped again. The first time I tried this dress on it got stuck at my butt – I kid you not. No shimmying or wiggling or attempting to suck my butt in would get this dress over my derriere, let alone even beginning trying to zip it all the way up the back – this was a serious Kim Kardashian butt situation. Imagine my horror at having to tell my friend, the bride, that I couldn’t wear this dress because my butt was far too shelf like?
Like the avoidy person that I am, I buried my head in the sand and hung the dress in my wardrobe under the illusion that in a few months the seams would somehow expand, or my butt would miraculously shrink. To be honest, I don’t really want my butt to shrink by THAT much because *whispers* I like my butt. It’s “phat”, yes, but its the good kind of “phat” that Destinys Child were singing about in Bootylicious.
(this is THE DRESS)
Luckily, SOMEHOW, when I next felt brave enough to try on the dress a couple of weeks ago I slipped it over my head and when I preceded to pull the beautiful satin fabric down, it kept going. Over my boobs (thats always an achievement), past my hips and then through gritted teeth and scrunched up eyes, as if by magic I felt the fabric glide over my butt and onto my thighs. HURRAH. Even more HURRAH’s were given when my mum managed to zip the dress up the back WITHOUT ANY BREATHING IN or holding the zip together and serious heave ho gurning noises. Technically speaking, I can get in the dress. Walking and sitting down in the dress is yet to be seen. To ensure that I’m able to walk and sit without the seams bursting and unleashing lots of white flesh and a pair of spanx, I need to drop at least another dress size.
So I’ve been going to the gym with my good blogger friend and now gym buddy Terri (those who sweat together, stay together) after work, mastering such machines as the elliptical, the stairmasters and the weight “things”. I also have another test for myself (the self confessed foodie) when I try to take on the Exante Diet in a bid to drop that dress size and ensure I’m comfortable enough in said dress to uhm…breathe, and do the Cha Cha Slide at the evening do…
I’ll keep you updated.
Wish me luck.