Being Funny > Having a Big Penis

by Charl Pearce

Everyone knows what the keys to a mans heart are. Boobs, beer, football, boobs, sport, beer, boobs, cars – did I mention boobs?The key to my heart? Now there’s a question. A fat wallet, a nice car, a nice big… pair of shoes? Nah. I like a man who makes me laugh (and I’m pretty partial to geeky, awkward men). And none of that stupid, girlish giggling. No siree. I like it when a guy can deliver the the big belly laughs and leaves me regretting not wearing a Tena lady. My theory – if he can achieve that kind of reaction from me through words alone, heaven knows what would happen if…..

Cheeky.

Let me give you an example. On Monday evening I took 2 buses, a train and 2 taxis to watch The Monday Club a comedy night in an Irish bar in Manchester (the fact that it was held in an Irish bar, with Irish bar men who said “That’s tree pound tirty” and gave me pints of Guinness to drink had nothing to do with me hauling my cookies all that way – honest). I was guaranteed some LOLZ by Miss Rosie in the form of the Dean Smith (mouth like a potty and pretty god damn funny) and his sister Hannah Smith.

I’ll be honest with you, at 25 years of age, I’ve never once been to a comedy night, so this was my devirginisation – and it was a busy, hot and sweaty devirginisation. Apparently, this was mostly down to some gentleman called Nico Mirallegro (who has amazing eyebrows, fyi) being there. Now, from what I can gather, Nico is the acting equivalent of Harry Styles, but less of a toe rag. And he looks like this.

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(jailbait for a lady female of my age, although I do see the attraction)
I’m fairly certain that 98.72% of the audience last night was made up of girls and out of that percentage, 96.36% of them had this predatory look in their eye that wouldn’t be out of place on some David Attenborough wildlife programme (HUNGER) And drool, don’t forget the drool.

When it comes to “comedy” I love me some good old fashioned sweary, sarcastic and innuendo laced gags and The Monday Club delivered this in abudance. I like to think that sometimes I can be quite comical, I often have people belly laughing (I’m still trying to work out whether that is because they find me funny OR whether it’s a pity laugh) with this in mind, it takes quite a bit to make me laugh.

Did I laugh? Oh I laughed.

I may have developed a crush on everybody who performed last night, even the women. I even developed a crush on the doorman. And my theory? Laughter.

The man that makes me laugh the most in the whole world is Michael McIntyre. As I type this I am actually chuckling internally because there’s nobody who makes me laugh more than him. His funny little annecdotes, the faces he pulls – sometimes I laugh so hard I forget to breathe. Physically he’s no David Beckham but when he’s on stage writhing around on the floor in his suit and getting a good old face gurn on, I feel the need to break out the Tena lady for more than one reason, if you know what I mean?

Being able to make me laugh and the ability to partake in some serious banter instantly makes a man more attractive to me, because it’s not all about looks people – looks can fade. The ability to make somebody THIS CLOSE to asphyxiation from laughter? That is a life long gift and is what will keep you warm at night. (When the guy is hot & funny this = #WINNING)

So the lesson to all men is that the ability to make a girl laugh > penis size.

* man loving aside, Hannah Smith brings major laughs – I always love to see a girl bringing the LOLZ with a bit of smut and some trucker swearing. F!cking brilliant Girl Power and all that.

4 Comments

  1. Gemma Button

    I loved this post, and you do make me ‘belly’ laugh. This is true Ginger Girl Says material right here and i just love it xx

    Reply
  2. Rosie

    OH HAI GURL you have me to thank for knowing about it and going ;)

    Reply
    • Charlotte

      OH HAI GURL. We need to go again and check out that Ryan Cerenko – he was hot x

      Reply
  3. Kirsty

    My boyfriend is a stand up comedian in fact the last 3 guys I dated were also stand up comedians, I studied stand up at uni so thankfully funny men galore I can’t help myself I am just all “so you’re a comedian? Should I remove my bra myself or would you like to?” There is nothing better than a funny man!

    Kirstabelle xxx

    Reply

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