Something very strange happens…they disappear – for no apparent reason. There’s no cross words, no awkward revelations that might scare your suitor senseless.. one moment you’re having a perfectly normal conversation, the next. Silence. They don’t reply to your texts, they don’t answer the phone – Nada. Zippo. Butt kiss.
I don’t know whether I should put this out there for fear of mocking, or to jinx myself in the future, but this has happened to me a couple of times. Each time I get even more bewildered than the last as to the cause and have therefore started to assume that they do indeed, die. Or get abducted by aliens. I thought this was just me so, so I took to Twitter for a poll and low and behold, the number of girls I had who said exactly the same thing was astounding. Good to see I’m not alone.
After a couple of charming and witty “testing the water” text messages (which go unanswered) and a phone call (that also goes unanswered) it becomes clear that this “gentleman” – I’m using that term loosely – has well and truly died.
The self assured and no bullsh!t woman inside me is crying out for me to just think “his loss!”, delete his number and move on. But there’s this inquisitive little voice inside me, like Sherlock-fucking-Holmes or something that is intrigued by it all and just can’t seem to let it go. “What did I do wrong?” it asks, “what’s wrong with me?”, “why won’t he talk to me?” – it appears that my inquisitve sub concious turns me into some whiny and needy chick. And that is what annoys me – because that’s not me, at all. But my sub concious seems to implode and makes me look fucking mental.
Sometimes these men miraculously turn up weeks later with excuses of a broken phone/a sudden move to Yemen and sometimes you never hear from them again. A lot of the time, it’s no great loss in the great scheme of things, but sometimes it can be quite heartbreaking when its someone you really liked. Either way, what gets my goat is that you never know the reason, and it leaves you wanting (I’m going broach a word that wouldn’t seem out of place in some psychiatrist’s office) …closure.
To conclude, I leave the gentleman among us who may be reading this with a closing statement:
I know you probably think in your man brain that its easier to just disappear and hope that we “get the hint” that you don’t walk to talk to us anymore/died – but unfortunately, its not. All this does is throw up a thousand questions/make you look like the biggest kn0bhead of all time and in turn, you become the bad guy. What doesn’t make you the bad guy is taking the time out of your Houdini style disappearing act to actually explain to the poor girl (ie me) exactly why you’ll suddenly cease to exist so that she isn’t left wondering where she went wrong. In short, that whole “disappearing thing” is what makes you an asshole.