6 Female Sexual Taboos That Definitely Don’t Make You a Slut

The word slut is thrown around the internet like confetti at a Pinterest inspired wedding, especially if you’re a woman who is confident in her own skin, opinionated or single (and ENJOYING being single).  (Un)surprisingly, the word slut comes loaded with judgement and whether you’re wearing revealing clothes, posted a half naked picture on the internet, are actively dating, had a one night stand (or several), an STD or even y’know, rejected a guys advances, you’re more likely have been branded a slut at some point in your life.

Words like “slut”, “slag” and “whore” carry aggressive implications and are often used by men and more worryingly so, by women to either restrict women’s choices, or make them feel ashamed of their sexual life choices.  A mans reputation however is not negatively defined by how many women he’s “banged” or how provocatively he chooses to dress and the playful terminology (playa, man-whore) only validates this fact that if you’re a guy, you can plough your way through as many women as you want without fear of repercussion.

Men don’t face the same judgement that women do when it comes to sex, and the same sexual practices undertaken by women are classed as taboo.  I’m gonna break down 6 female sexual taboos that most definitely do not make you a slut.

1.

Talking dirty is not a bad thing and I don’t mean whispering sweet (or filthy) nothings into your partners ear.  Women are just as entitled to talk about sex, their likes and experiences as men are, in fact, you’ll probably find that women are happier to discuss their sex lives down to each intricate detail that you’d think.   Are there people I wouldn’t discuss sex with and cringe to think they’d even click on this title, probably (my boss and my nan for example) but it’s never been a topic I for one shy away from discussing IRL and evidently, people on the internet (we’re all friends here, right?

2.

Sleeping around does not define your self worth.  So you like to have a good time, quench the same innate sexual desire that any red blooded human experiences and you haven’t subscribed to the idea that each sexual encounter shouldn’t result to a relationship.  So what?  Sex is fun.  In fact, it’s up there with taking off your bra after a long day, watching your favourite football team win the league, a bottle of wine after a long week or winning the lottery.  Men and women have been doing it since Adam and Eve made out in the garden of Eden (if you believe the bible) and as long as you’re taking precautions to protect your sexual (and mental) health then the fact that your “number” is into triple figures is of no one else’s concern.

3.

Wanna try anal, face sitting, fisting, dominating or water sports?  I applaud you girl, go for it.  Hell, chain someone from the ceiling and bust out the hot wax and paddle whip buddy because being try-sexual is the new black (or is it Orange?).  Does that mean I’ve tried all of the above?  Nope.  I don’t judge people’s sexual preferences based on what I’m personally into or open to.  New experiences make your sex life more fun and open your relationship (or fling) up to new realms of pleasure or pain, depending on what gets you off. After all, of you don’t try it how will you know if you’ll like it?  Love it?  Great, order it off the menu every night your jump into bed or in the back of your car with someone, hate it?  Least you only spent a few quid on that vibrating butt plug.

4.

Masturbation.  Hands up if you’ve ever done it?  I said hands up if… oh, sorry, your hands are busy right now?  My bad.  It’s widely accepted that men masturbate, wank, crack one out, beat the meat – whatever you wanna call it, ejaculating into a sock is a right of passage for a guy and something not to be blinked at.  Women on the other hand(job), is totally different with female masturbation being seen as a taboo topic that those who do, don’t talk about and those that don’t don’t do it because it s reserved for teenage boys/creepy middle aged men watching porn in their underpants.   A little menage a moi is nothing to be ashamed of, we all have to have some way to pass the time after all, and research even says that it’s good for you.  Benefits include mood lifting (doh), releases sexual tension, relieves stress, induces sleep….not to mention feeling bloody brilliant.  It’s also not something  resigned exclusively to singletons, so fill up your bedside table with the latest in gadgets for some one on one time whilst your partner nips to the shops for some milk (or treat them to a private show).

5.

Only guys watch porn, right?  WRONG.  We’re taught that porn is a normal part of male sexual health and a guy having a stash of dirty mags with stuck together pages under his mattress is fine, turn that on women and we’re either sluts (there’s that word again) or nymphomaniacs. Tube8, XHamster, YouPorn, XNXX, whatever your website of sex tape fun, it isn’t marketed to or consumed exclusively by men.  We’re listening to audiobooks, reading erotic novels, we watch it on our laptops and on our phones IN FACT nearly a third of women recently surveyed admitted to watching porn with or without a partner and 10% are watching it every single day (yep, that’s where all my data is going).

6.

Ever seen someone on public transport with a tell tale smirk or blush whilst reading their phone?  Definitely sexting.  I love sexts and I’m pretty good at writing them, even if I do say so myself (don’t think I didn’t learn SOMETHING from cheesy Mills & Boon books and their heaving bosoms).  It’s easy to land yourself in hot water when sending your innermost sexual thoughts (or images) via a digital media such as text or social, but with sexting on the rise it’s more and more common place than you may think and you may surprised at just how many people have exchanged a cheeky picture to get their SO hot under the collar.  If you are planning to take your non verbal communication up a gear, ensure you’re confident your images won’t be seen by eyes they’re not intended for and avoid including your face or any  distinguishing features should you need to swear your innocence.  All seriousness aside, sexting is fun and is often the perfect way to overcome inhibition and add excitement to each other’s working day (a few choice words here and there can do wonders for a boring Thursday afternoon at the desk).