LIFE || Why Living Alone Can SUCK.

I’ve been living “all by myself” (complete with Bridget Jones pyjamas and half drunken bottle of wine) for almost a year and a half now, and when I put that down into black and white it seems pretty scary. Most of the time I love living on my own, so much so that I wrote a blog post all about it complete with Home Alone GIFs.

I find myself having to correct “living alone” to “living on my own” because “alone” connotates a girl rocking back and forth in a chair with a ball of knitting, The Way We Were on the TV and sobbing whilst the house crawls with over fed dogs (so they don’t get tempted to feast on my corpse when I’m eventually found dead after weeks of nobody noticing my absence).bridgetjoneseatenalive

The long and short of living on my own is that I have the freedom to do what I want, when I want in a home that is very much mine (and my landlords).

Of course, there’s a flipside to everything and as much as living on my own gives the single, independent female in me a massive sense of empowerment there can be days where it gets pretty damn *whispers* lonely, and I begin to flashback to that “corpse being found half eaten by dogs” scenario. 

Why Living Alone Can SUCK. 

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I sometimes have these mild panic moments where I realise that if somebody were to break into my house to y’know, murder me in my sleep, I’d be ridiculously vulnerable.  There’d be no one to shout out to for help.  This mainly happens when I’m in the bath or in bed and its at these moments I find myself scouring the room for the nearest item I could use for a self defence weapon.  A sponge or a pillow wouldn’t do much damage in a dramatic “Taken” style scenario, so I tend to keep my phone nearby (who am I kidding, I’m a single girl, I do that all the time anyway)  and should quite  possibly invest in a baseball bat or  a stun gun JUST IN CASE.

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You have no reason to cook elaborate or even slightly interesting meals.  I’m no Jamie Oliver, but I like to think that I can stumble my way around the kitchen and produce some rather paletable dishes.  Living alone means I have zero inspiration to let my inner Nigella out and I therefore tend to eat the most uninspiring of dishes made of what is wilting away or nearing its Best Before Date in my fridge.  I miss nice food.

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You know how I said I loved all of these things about living on my own?  Well you have to pay for the privelage of these things, and by pay I mean parting with a substantial wedge of cash money dollar every payday.  Rent day makes my purse wince as I try to work out how many days I can survive on baked beans (the Aldi ones) before turning a funny shade of orange.  And its not just rent.  Council tax, water, electricity and gas all kick my already limited social calendar in the gut as I handover another wedge of money.  Because of this I tend to spend alot of time in bed where its warm, or wearing 22 jumpers until I look like Joey in that episode of Friends “could I BE wearing anymore clothes?”

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You can’t leave things and hope that somebody else will do it for you.  When I lived at home it seemed as though there were magic pixies and elves busying away to ensure everything was in order:  food in the cupboards, fresh linen on my bed, clean pants in a drawer – this is otherwise known as “mum”.  When you live alone these are things you end up having to do yourself and the illusions of fairies and elves is shatted into oblivion when you’re looking for a sexy pair of little black pants and all you thats clean and laundered is those big pants you save for a specific time of the month because they providing comforting hugs to your belly.  Comforting?  Yes.  “Come hither sexy man and remove my pants with your teeth”?  Not so much.

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I live really close to a pub and my bedroom window overlooks a beer garden.  Not ideal, granted, but its an excellent source of entertainment and gossip.  Not so much so on a Friday or Saturday night when I’m having to abstain from having a social life because of money problems and the fact that everybody is busy having a life with their significant others (read my post about that here).  I sit on my bed writing blog posts, painting my nails, online window shopping and I can hear people in the beer garden laughing, drinking, AND HAVING FUN when I’m bored and I get massively jealous.  Its those moments when I get jealous of those people who houseshare with friends and have conversation at the other end of the hallway or someone to ease the guilt of eating an entire tube of Pringles to yourself.  As it stands I either a) talk to my dog Ted as though he’s magically going to become the canine version of Salem from Sabrina The Teenage Witch or b) stare out of the window wistfully at those with a social life until they spot me and shuffle awkwardly inside.

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If I do happen to be in one of “those” moods where the above factors leave me feeling as though I’m a Borrower rattling around in Buckingham Palace or like Tom Hanks on Castaway, I ditch my mugs of instant chai latte and Dawsons Creek Netflix reruns in favour of vodka, and Chaka Khan (2014 alternative is probably Beyonce, lets face it.)

Do YOU live alone?  If so, tell me what you love about it, or hate about it, or or or – lets be friends and promise to comfort eachother/share vodka in times of need.

LIFE || Like An Episode of Cribs

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Do you remember when you were younger and you used to watch MTV Cribs and salivate over the not so humble abodes of the rich and the famous?  No?  Well I did.  The multi million dollar mansions and New York penthouses were always decked out with all of the latest gadgets, sumptuous decor, acres of land and no matter how unreachable those celebrity abodes seemed in terms of what the average Joe (or Charl) could realistically afford in the small city of Stoke-on-Trent, my imagination would still run wild.  I’d be led around the sprawling properties of Miley Cyrus, a young Destinys Child, The Osbournes, 50 Cent, Mariah Carey and of course Richard Branson and his own damn freaking ISLAND (not jealous) and I would be envisioning my own home.  When leaving the comfort of my mums house and embarking on a home of my own I’d envision that I’d somehow hit the money jackpot and be able to deck out my crib with some of the must have items from the show to try and channel the lifestyles of the rich and the famous (I also wouldn’t mind a couple of those celebrity boyos draped over my sofa or in my hot tub).

Lets have a look at some of the must have “Crib” items.

The Walk In Wardrobe

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I’m looking towards Mariah Carey’s epic walk in wardrobe in her New York skyscraper multi floored apartment.  The diva completed several outfit changes throughout the episode including showing off her gym whilst in a “festive ensemble” and heels.  Rows and rows of designer dresses, cut off jeans circa the Heartbreaker album and little tank tops for those notorious Mariah, er, lungs and monogrammed initials decorating the floors of the palatial space enough to put Carrie Bradshaw’s closet to shame.  Oh, did I mention the whole seperate room/closet full of shoes?  Closet porn. The closest I’m getting to that is my spare room, a spare wardrobe stacked high with shoes and a floordrobe/chairdrobe.

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BEAUTY || The 4 Product Base

I’m usually a “find a makeup base which you love and stick to it” kind of gal, which is why you’ll always find a bottle of Revlon Colorstay and a Collection Lasting Perfection Concealer kicking around my makeup bag because they’re my proven go to products to get a flawless and high coverage base for whatever makeup look I’m trying to achieve.

Just lately my skin has been absolutely diabolical and has been repelling my usual make up routine, so I’ve been shopping my stash and in doing so I have come up with a quadruplet of products which are working really well at giving me a makeup base which lasts an entire day at work (the timate test).

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I’ve been using this Soap and Glory “Bright Here, Bright Now ” for just over a year now and I use it after my normal moisturiser has absorbed as a primer before foundation.  It gives my skin a natural glow and I find that it blurs my pores giving me the perfect base to apply foundation. This GOSH X-Ceptional Wear foundation has been lurking in my makeup stash for a while after being reccomended it for its ultra paleness – I use the shade “Porcelain”.  My skin seems to have adopted a super pale and almost ghostly hue after the winter months and even the palest of my usual foundations are coming up a shade too dark for me (this can be easily rectified by using the Stargazer White Foundation).  This foundation is perfect for my oil prone skin.   I wouldn’t recommend it for dry skin as it can cling to any dry patches if my skin isn’t properly moisturised. I’ve taken to applying all of my liquid foundation with this Beauty Blender “dupe” from Primark, for £1.50 and it does everything that I’d need from an egg shaped piece of sponge.  I use the sponge slightly damp, apply foundation onto the back of my hand, pick up some product on the base of the sponge and then “bounce” it around my face to apply the foundation.  I find it gives a really even coverage and because you’re sponging a layer ontop of the skin instead of working it into the skin like you would with a buffing brush, it means you can build coverage without the foundation becoming too cakey.  I like to keep the coverage of this foundation quite light which also allows the “glow” from the Bright Here, Bright Now show through and I just cover any blemishes or redness with concealer.  This Mavala Water Resistant Concealer (Light)* provides me with with good matte coverage and doesn’t budge – the colour also works perfectly with the pale foundation – a bit of a rareity.  I tend to dab this on where I need the coverage and pat to blend with my finger or use the sponge again.  I then set my T-Zone with the Matte Maker Powder in Classic Ivory from Maybelline in their palest shade with the Flat Kabuki (K80) brush from Sigma which I love for setting my make up (little trick there learnt from Miss Lowe).  

Whether its the basic foundations of really contoured cheeks, a smokey eye and a neutral lip or a neutral eye with lashings of mascara, a flush of colour on the cheeks and a bright lip these 4 products give the perfect base for a whole host of make up looks. 

I’ve been doing this + HD Brows + a sweep of blusher and the Soap and Glory “A Great Kisser” Lip Moisture Balm in Chocolate Cherry for my day to day minimal work make up.

LIFE || The Monday Moan

A while back I used to do something which I blatantly stole off Louise from Sprinkle of Glitter called “Motivational Monday”. The motivational pictures from Tumblr started to dwindle pretty quickly as I found that as a person, I’m not too motivational on a Monday. This is normally me on a Monday morning:imageI was also pretty unenamoured with sounding like the Martha fricking Brady of Stoke-on-Trent because most of the time, I just love a good moan. If you follow me on Twitter (my handle is @misscharl) you’ll be more than aware that I like to partake in a bit of a moan, a whinge, a whine and a bitch in 95% of my tweets. In fact, Charlotte once said that she was considering unfollowing me once upon a time because I brought too much negativity upon her timeline (I like to think I bring some hilarity with my negativity so it balances itself out).

It’s with this in mind that I thought I’d adopt a more “Charl Friendly” post for a Monday : Monday Moan. I may do this every Monday, I may not. This whole feature is totally mood based and also dependent on whether I have something to moan about (lets safely assume that I’ll have something to moan about in that case).   This isn’t meant to be a negative feature, it’s more somewhere to vent, but in a funny way.  To prove that I’m not a negative Nancy I’ll begin with my first Monday Moan.

People who moan.

“Oh you’re so hypocritical!” “Girl, you’re batshit crazy!” “How can you moan about people who moan?” If any of you are asking this, then lets take a few minutes and chew the fat about it.

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